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Hello! Thanks for visiting my blog, I am glad you are here. For the most part, I use this to comment (and sometimes ramble...) about the many things I love or perhaps am fascinated with this week. This can include quite an assortment of topics, including my propensity for reading novels at all hours of the day, writing, art, and travel, as I do have a serious case of Wanderlust.

"The World is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page." ~St. Augustine

Monday, January 16, 2012

What to do with my life?

What a question to try and answer, huh?

I feel like I am kind of stuck in the middle of something at the moment. For the most part, I really enjoy my job, and I like that I am so familiar with it already, and above all extremely grateful that they pretty much made this position with me in mind. With the state of our State at this time, who knows where I would be or how I would be paying off my loans at the moment.
However, one of my big issues I try and deal with on a weekly basis is that whole degree thing. My position does not require a Masters degree (let alone state licensure, which I also have at the moment…). While I do know (albeit easier said than done) that what other people think of me is none of my business, I can’t help but wonder if there are people at my office or in my life in general who think “why is she working there with her degree”, “why doesn’t she get into the field”, etc. etc., and you can imagine how the list of possible other ‘things’ these people may or may not be saying. And now that I write that out and say it a few times, what I am really saying is that I maybe say these things to myself. A lot.

Am I missing out on something else because I like my job? Have I wasted my money and time getting a degree that I am not using? Are there even answers to that question? And just to throw another wrench in the fray, here is another aspect of the situation that for me is both helpful and not. At my current job, the benefits are really, really great. Let’s just say that I do find something in the field, and leave here for it. With how very unstable the State is, in addition to the added instability of community agencies (run in great deal, if not entirely on state or donated funds), let’s say worst case scenario is I start there and it is a-okay for a while, and then funding is cut, and boom, I’m maybe cut back in one way shape or form (this happened while on my internship at my agency, a very scary time for the staff and cuts all across the board). With just making it by at this point as far as loan pay back and bills go, that is a risk I am not sure I want to take at this point. Yes, I understand that is very pessimistic and ‘worst case’ thinking, but I think also quite relevant, too.

Overall, this whole situation makes me frustrated, worried, and sad. I thought I would be somewhere else in life at this point. Is there an end in sight? Is a great opportunity almost here as I search for the next path I take in life?

Again, I cannot say enough how thankful I am for my job, and the great people I work with. I just wish I could perhaps experience a sign or something telling me any variety of 1) everything will be okay, or 2)here is what you are supposed to do. If only it were that easy, huh?

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